Positively Undecided

I just have to start this post by saying, there is no better bucket filler than the compliments and comments I get on my blog.  The fact that people read my ramblings and find enjoyment in that, and then take the time to tell me they like it?!  That has seriously got to be one of the best things ever...

Yesterday we headed to Rathdrum for Lily's 2nd birthday.  And by 'we' I mean, Amy and my mom in the front seat of my moms car, and me squished in the middle between two booster seats occupied by Aubrey and Addy.  Holy stiffness by the time I got out.

The party was over the top cute with the cowgirl theme Steph put together.  And Lily has more personality than any one child should be allowed!  I love her to pieces...and her little voice calling out Colton's name, be still my heart...And since every cowgirl deserves a castle bounce house, pony rides, and a pinata, all the kids had a blast.  Addy refused to get in the bounce house for a long time, but in the end when she came out of her shell she was a mad woman.  I took a bunch of pictures for Stephanie and it's killing me to not be able to look at all of them...

Looking around at all of Stephanie's friends made me feel like I entered some alternate universe where I swear the stork must have left them their babies, because their bodies and hair and make-up didn't quite reflect motherhood like mine does...it was kinda depressing

Sometimes I obsess over little things, to the point that I find myself mentally talking myself down...for example...so Addy was being super shy about the pinata, I couldn't really get her to hit it, but when all the candy came pouring out she ran up and grabbed a bunch and came back so proud of all she'd gotten, and the bag it was in was her party bag with her cute little party favors she was so excited about too...well, when she came over a little later and brought me her bag, I thought it might not be hers and I saw a paper with another kids name in it, I realized this kid was leaving and I tell Colton to run over and switch bags with them, because I'm thinking about how much she loved her bag.  When he came back and I looked inside the new bag I realized I had thought wrong.  Almost all the candy was gone and some of the party favors were missing.  So basically, I just gave her bag of happiness away.  I just kept thinking about how proud she was of herself and how much she loved all her stuff, and immediately, my stomach is churning, and knotting, and I felt beyond terrible.  Like obsessing about how bad I felt.  And Kent wasn't there for me to express my feelings of anguish, and to tell me it was no big deal, like I would have made him do like at least 5 times. In the end when she came over and realized it wasn't her bag, she was fine, and just ran off back to the bouncy castle.  I knew it was fine, she was fine, but I had to sit there and talk myself out of the need to make it up to her!  And all the while I just kept knowing how ridiculous I was feeling.  It wasn't like I ran over her favorite toy or something, no one died for heavens sake!  But there are no words for how stupidly bad I felt...

So, after the party, Denice being the awesome mother-in-law that she is agreed to take my kids home so I could go shopping with my mom and sister, totally kidless.  But of course, my kids being who they are...namely Aubrey and Colton, had to be forced out of the car, and we drove away with Colton pouting and glaring at us like I didn't love him anymore...they acted like I was leaving them at an orphanage or something.  Colton was the only one I could muster up a little sympathy for because he had been up with Steph and Mav for the whole week, and I know I wouldn't have wanted to leave my mom right after seeing her again either.  But, kids are resilient right?

So, first on our shopping trip was Cabelas.  Kinda lame, but it provided Amy and I the opportunity to buy my dad his much over due Father's Day present.  At first we scanned the store for any 2 room tents because I told Amy I'd never seen one, but our search was in vain, only one room tents and one that I swear was a tent coffin could be found.  Eventually we made our way over to the ammo department where I'm pretty sure the guy helping us thought I had a mental disability.  Who knew bullets/shells are so complicated!  Amy was fully entertained by my incoherent thought process and my inability to feel anything but fuzzy headed, but I'm not sure Ammo Guy felt the same way...then I managed to make a fool out of myself at the roasted nut counter and the fudge counter as well...I seriously have no idea what my problem was...

Next was TJMaxx, Old Navy, The World Market and Target, where I did a lot of, "I don't mind if I do" shopping, which equals 5 to10 dollaring yourself to a whole lot of money spent.  It turned out to be a really fun day.  Even when my mom tried to ruin the whole thing insisting that we listed to her iphone music on the drive home.  Holy cow, American Idol remakes of every song is not such a great thing...but she informed me she didn't want to listen to any of my jungle bumping music...in the end Amy and I won out and we plugged my phone in, but turns out it didn't matter too much because the pink rockstar Amy drank to help her stay awake made her so chatty I don't think we listened to one whole song without her turning it down so we could hear her better....

Colton went to a basketball camp last week with Maverick...we called him everyday to ask how camp was, and every time, no matter who asked him the question first, he would always start with 'dad'...he was happy to tell "us", and by us I mean Kent, that the coach pointed him out for everyone to look at because he was doing such a good job...

Having all 3 kids home is so nice, it feels like it's been a crazy summer of only half my family being home at a time...but man, it's crazy the difference it makes having even one less child around...Colton's hugs have been super sweet though...I really did miss him.  I never realize how much him and I talk until he's gone...


Picture...

Since I don't have any of the pics from Lily's party on the pony, these are from the last official day of vacation at a little fruit stand with the best berries...

I can't even say how much I want him to stop growing up...