Vegas or Bust: Part Three...

So we are headed to the Wynn, this crazy nice, expensive hotel.  We had an awesome view of it's sheer ginormousness from Jim and Jodi's window in their room.  The front of this hotel is covered in huge waterfalls and fountains...and the whole building looks like it's made out of copper.  And the reader board?  Insane!  It's huge and it's continually changing...

So we walk in the front doors, and it's like you can literally smell the money.  Right as we walk in, off to the left is a restaurant and part of the wall is this huge clock collage, and it looks like the biggest clock is some sort of cutout in the wall...and then it occurs to me, this is literally the only clock I have seen besides the alarm clock in our room.  No joke, there are literally no clocks anywhere....because Vegas hotels and casinos are giant time suckers... there are no windows once you really get inside either...no evidence of life outside...Walking through this foyer?  Entry hall?  Wing?, what ever you would call it, the floors are gorgeous, and even the bathroom stalls are made out of marble with big, heavy, wooden doors...and if I'm not mistaken, all the sinks and faucets were gold...but that could have been a different hotel, because remember, everything at this point is kind of blurring together.  Because our trip was like a cram session for a final exam...we had such a limited amount of time, and awesome friends who were going to show us the very most we could see...

Back on point, the hall, for lack of a better word opens up to this massive room, I guess you would call it? and there are these big sections of tree lanes...like two rows of trees that arch together over head and they are all wrapped with lights and have things hanging from them, and it's kinda magical to walk under them hand in hand with Kent...next we walk over to look out this gigantic window and there is this beautiful water feature outside. We all kind of stood there and took it all in....and it's all just so surreal...and big...I seriously need to get a thesaurus and time in the word large...I bet I could use every suggestion they give me...

Then we head over to the Ferrari Show Room...and what do you know, they want $10 a person  just to look at the cars.  Just to look.  We opted out, and decided to see if we could find a deal on some tickets to Le Rev....as we pass the concierge desk Kent tells Zane to go flirt with the girl behind the counter and get us some tickets...and then Zane says...'how much do you think she weighs?' It was a joke, a perfectly timed, perfectly delivered hilarious joke...and I think I almost died.  Maybe you had to be there, but oh my gosh, Kent and I kept laughing...we find out the tickets start at $105 and decide to wait...because times 2, that's a lot of money...which was fine for Zane, because at this point he was $300 under budget...I almost forgot, we ended up at a dead end with a roped off staircase, and on the landings going down, they had all these EA Sports logos on the floor...Kent thought it was pretty cool..

We walked around the hotel some more, and they by far had the nicest looking casino...I can't remember which hotel we were in when we passed a black jack table that had a minimum buy in of $300...can you even imagine?!  As we were walking we came across a showcase with the Olympics Basketball players shoes and gold medal...interesting enough, it was the shoes and uniforms of Kobe, Durrant, and LeBron, and the mannequins were white...and not to make a racial slur or anything, but there are a lot of Asians up in Las Vegas...maybe that's why they advertise them naked...and tons of people speaking other languages...

Anyway, after that we were on to our next stop, the Palazzo...and it was huge, and I'm not quite sure to be honest when it stopped being the Palazzo and started being the Venetian...all of these hotels are filled with all of these designers stores and tons of shops, and there was never anyone in any of them...the Venetian might have been my favorite place yet...it was like my homeland was calling to me, and I got it in my head I needed to try and find a cannoli...we walked past the gondoliers and their striped shirts and singing, and rounded the corner, and I literally shrieked at the bakery sign...I'm pretty sure I could see some heads whipping around to see who just died out of the corner of my eye.  It was super cute on the outside, and sure enough, fresh freakin cannoli's...Kent picked out a chocolate croissant...and literally half a second after we were out of the store I had half of that thing gone.  It was fabulous.  I think I took about 3 bites before it even occurred to me to ask Kent if he wanted a bite.  I attacked that thing.  I want them served at my funeral.  Next we stopped at this super cool candy store and bought the kids a $20 box of oversized candy.  Because everything is bigger in Vegas...and it was kinda rad...

We head outside and there is a moving sidewalk...hallelujah!  I don't have to take steps for at least 20 seconds...and then I almost fall stepping off of it...I have the coordination of a toddler...we decide to stop back by our hotel and drop off Tramp before heading to the Paris to meet Cortland and Emily for dinner, and I sent Kent upstairs by himself while I sat at a slot machine basking in the joy of resting my aching legs...I know the night is young and we still have an enormous amount of ground to cover.  Here's a fun little side note, Jim and Jodi are straight up animals.  Not once did I hear them complain about walking or their feet, or their legs, or being tired...I'm almost convinced they are part robot...

Back at the Paris we have some time to kill before dinner, and me, Kent and Zane think we've hit the motherload when we find this quiet, secluded, bar area to sit in.  All 3 of us just sat there on our phones.  Not walking.  Doing normal stuff like checking facebook...back in the real world, where people have clothes on and you can't smoke indoors...and then it starts to wreak like smoke.  And I swear they must have a smoke machine to drive out non drinkers, because I seriously thought we were the only ones in there...

Time for dinner at the Burger Brassier...that's right, the Burger Bra.  And the waitresses dress accordingly.  Big boobs-check  Bra-check Corset-check Mini Shorts-check...and not to be mean, but I think our waitress was just on the other side of 'young enough' to be waiting on people in her underwear.  Since we had burgers at lunch I decided to wait and grab a slice of pizza around the corner...this is the first time we've really had a chance to talk with Emily and Cortland, and it was super fun.  Emily is so nice, and she just looks like she could fit in my pocket.  She is tiny, and pretty, and nice...and I don't even hate her for it! What is Vegas doing to me?

We finish up dinner, and head out to find me a piece of pizza...when we found the place and stopped, Kent and I stood there and watched everyone keep walking, waiting to see how far they would go before they realized we weren't there...then Kent text Jim and asked why they left us...we walk up to them as I'm shoving a bite of pizza in my mouth, and Jim just starts laughing at me.  And I realize in the last like 12 hours he has watched me devour cheesecake,  a cannoli, and now a big piece of pizza, all while out walking around...and I understand why he's laughing...

Now it's dark and time to head to the Bellagio to see the fountains.  The first time we watched it was from the sky bridge, and the only music you could hear was from the penny beggar guitar guy behind us.  And he was so loud.  Kent said he was gonna offer him some money to NOT play while we stood there...but even being kinda far away, the amazingness wasn't totally lost...but wow that guy was so annoying...finally, we are there, after another 12 escalator rides and the anticipation is super fun...we can start to see the fountains coming up, and we're taking pictures, and Cortland is trying to get some guy that doesn't speak English to take a big group shot, and then it starts....and it's like one of the coolest things I've ever seen.  The sound the water makes when it's shooting up so crazy high is awesome...we stay to watch the next one, but it's opera and that kinda lames it down a bit...but still super cool...but later on when we were leaving we watched it Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds...

We grab some ice cream cones and start a million mile excursion looking for this huge chocolate fountain inside the hotel. And it takes forever.  We finally find it, and it's big, and kinda weird, and there's beautiful cakes and a life size ball gown made out of chocolate...

After that we head towards the actual rooms of the hotel to see what a cool place Cortland and Emily are staying in..he had to show an attendant at the elevators his room key just to walk down the elevator hallway.  We didn't even have to show our key to get into the pool at Harrah's.  Yeah.  We get up to like the millionth floor, and their room is awesome.  And the view is awesome.  And there bathroom was super nice.  Our bathroom had two baby lights that took 20 minutes just to warm up to barely more than dim...and I can't help but be jealous that they are already back at their hotel and we are no where close to ours...and I forgot my bionic legs at home...maybe Jim and Jodi have a spare....

Here's the nutty part.  We are tired, and our legs hurt, but it's barely 10:00-10:30, and that's like mid afternoon in Vegas time, and it's our last night there.  And our room is lame.  So we decide to hoof it back to the Mirage, catch the Tram and go watch the Treasure Island Pirate ship thing...everyone else bailed but me and Kent and Zane.

We hang out in Senor Frogs for a bit, which was touch and go for a second...I didn't have my ID with me, because I had taken my wallet out of my purse to make it as light as possible.  When the guy at the door asked what the problem was, I said I forgot my ID, he looked at me, shrugged, and stamped my arm.  Boom.  Vegas Style.

Finally, it's time to take our places by the ropes, and we wait and wait, and people start lining up everywhere.  And the kids, I can't forget the kids up at midnight for the pirate show.  Better known as the Skanky Pirates of the Sea...it was not what I was expecting.  At all.  All of a sudden this super cool ship is covered in slut pirates singing and by singing, I mean lip singing, the worst songs ever...but have no fear, the second pirate ship sailed up and it was covered in men with their shirts open...I'm not gonna lie, the special effects were super cool, and the flips and jumps, and the cannons, but the story line and grinding, and never ending crotch gyrating, was a bit much.  The story goes, the slut pirates have a boy pirate, and they won't give him back, and he doesn't want to go back, so the boy pirates shoot cannons and blow up her closets, the head sea wench...and this part really was cool, because the fire coming out of the closets was so massive, that it literally burned your face.  And how did  the Siren Sea Wench reply?  I think Zane said it best when he asked "are they gonna dance them to death?"  Yet, another music and dance number full of arse shaking and boobie bouncing.  In the end, they all ended up on the ship together, which is an important part, lest we miss the part where there was some dry humping on the netted rope....and they all lived happily ever after...

We headed back to our hotel and the three of us hung out downstairs, where we didn't see the cage dancers, maybe it's just bad form to dance up there on a Sunday...we stayed and talked and shared our regrets of being in Vegas and not making it to a real show...and then the smoke was just too much...

Back in our room, Kent and I laid around talking and analyzing the weekend, and it was so fun...definitely a highlight of the trip...I love him with my whole heart...we packed up our stuff, laid down and set our alarm to go off in about 3 hours...super gag...

3:40 came fast...and besides eating some breakfast from Auntie Ann's in the Vegas airport, I can't tell you much more...because I literally slept every time I sat still for more than 2 seconds...

And then we were home....

Here is my last and final observation about Las Vegas- "The Strip"....as we were riding an escalator, and looking around, I realized I couldn't see anything natural.  Everything was man made.  Besides the palm trees outside, which weren't even in a natural setting, the whole city is stuff, made to look like real stuff...it left me wanting for some nature, some connection to the real world...I had a lot of fun, and saw some amazing things, and met some awesome people, and in the end it was spending time with Kent, and our friends, that made the weekend memorable.  It was a place unlike anything I have ever experienced, and it wouldn't have been the same without everyone and their kindness and generosity.  And for that, I know Kent and I are truly thankful.

Pictures...

This is outside the Wynn Hotel...*disclaimer-regardless of what all my striped dress pictures look like, I am not pregnant*

I swear it was windy!

A set of stairs inside the Wynn...crazy gamers...

The Olympic Basketball showcase...notice the white mannequins...it's a valid observation...

me and my cannoli...

the coolest phone case ever...it was at the candy store, and it's my one regret, that I didn't buy it...

waiting for the fountains...remember the disclaimer....

The ceiling at Senor Frogs was covered in these...

Getting to the airport...

Descending to land back in Pasco...

crop circles look so rad from an airplane perspective...

And this is to show the giantness of the box of candy...