Vegas or Bust! Part One

The time has come for me to tell the tale of our wild Las Vegas Weekend...settle in friends, it's gonna be a long one...

Saturday morning we got up at 4:50 a.m. to make it to the airport.  Thanks to my awesome dad and Easton who showed up at 5:00 a.m. my kids could keep sleeping.  We get to the airport, and I was so surprised to see how many people were there!  Pasco Airport was poppin!  There was even a line at the security check. The same security line, that random-ed me for a shoe check, which were flip flops, and then proceeded to throw away my spray gel and mouse.  Super garbage.  Anyways, we get on board right after going through security, and it's a small plane...like kinda tiny.  But, whatevs!  We were Seattle bound!  And then there was the turbulence.  And then we were fine...and then there was more.

So we make it to Seattle, and I'm jonesin' for some tcby, thinking we have a couple hours and a plethora of food choices in a big airport.  Nope.  We are in a small terminal with a Starbucks and a Burger King.  No bueno.  I end up paying $5 for a stupid bag of chips ahoy minis and a diet coke.  Breakfast-check.  New Phase Ten app on my phone-check...I was good to go.

Before we knew it, we were boarding our next flight to Las Vegas.  This ride was super lame because it was 3 seats to a side and we were seats c and d, which put us next to each other, but across the isle.  Apparently they don't give out peanuts anymore, but I enjoyed some cinnamon covered pretzels while Kent took a little nap.  And then it was time to land.  And I thought I might die.  It felt like we were all over the place!  Up and down, and side to side...I just kept telling myself it was no big deal, and being sick is all mind over matter...

And then we were there!!  Getting off the plane, and heading to the shuttle that would take us to meet our friends.  And it was hot, and I felt gross, and the people looked weird.  Dean and his wife Andrea picked us up and drove us down The Strip.  And holy culture shock!  It was like nothing I had ever seen.  The sheer size and detail to these hotels is INSANE...and that was just from the outside!  And the amount of people! Crazy town!

We finally get to our hotel and realized check-in was gonna take awhile, there was a nice long line.  We were hoping for an early check-in so we would actually have time to get ready for the wedding, so we finally make it to the front and we have to upgrade our room if we want to check in early.  And extra $15 dollars a night.  No big deal right?  We go up to our room, and it's just average, 12th floor, nothing special, but we knew we had a view of the pool...so I go over to our slider, which opens up to like an 8 inch deep balcony, and there is a big rectangle pool.  Lame!  Then I hear booing, and I'm like "What's going on?" and Kent informs me that it's a bunch of guys booing because a security gaurd just broke up 2 girls totally going at it in the pool.  And I don't mean fighting.  Welcome to Vegas....aka Satan's Lair.

We shower and head downstairs to meet up with Dean and Andrea to have lunch at the Toby Kieth I love This Bar and Grill.  It was a super cool restaurant with mason jars for glasses and half a truck sticking out of the wall.  The food was really good, and we were in a restaurant, a legitimate restaurant, in our hotel...upstairs from the store and the casino, and like 3 other restaurants, and, and, and...

So now it's time to get ready for the wedding, and wow, we are exhausted.  We had to be at another hotel and seated in the chapel at 4:45 or they threatened death...and locked doors, so you would miss the whole thing...it's 2:00 now, and Dean says we need to leave by 3:00 at the latest.  He's been to Vegas several times, so we figure, ok, lets get going...but wait, lets lay down, for at least a few minutes.  I set my timer for 12 minutes to be exact...which basically means that right when I was actually falling asleep I had to get up.  We get all dressed and ready, meet them downstairs, and we were off....and oh my goodness...

I don't even know where to begin...over stimulation is the best way I can describe it.  There is so much going on, and so many people, and outdoor escalators, like everywhere!  And people, people walking around drinking, people trying to sell you stuff, people trying to give you cards with nakedness on them, people in costumes charging you to take a picture with them....and bars and alcohol filled slurpee machines, and stores, and more hotels, and creepers...and some dirty old man dressed as cupid in a stained white diaper...in a wheelchair!!  And oh my gosh, what is this place I voluntarily came to???

Finally we reach the hotel, the Paris hotel to be exact, and it's so freaking cool, but it's all so overstimulating, that it's like you can't even process what you are seeing...this whole little Paris town, inside the hotel...with bars and stores, and pastry shops, and slot machines...and cobblestone streets...and big huge t.v.s for sports betting...and smoke, people can smoke in the casinos...so weird...so Dean shows us all around the Paris, and then he showed us how/where it all of a sudden turns into a whole other hotel- Ballys.  What the?  I had no idea that was even possible...so one minute you are in Paris, and the next minute you are in somewhere else..I can't even remember the theme of that hotel now...anyway, I thought it was super crazy.

And then the tour was over.  And we had like at least an hour before we needed to be seated.  Thanks a heap, Mr. Punctuality.  I just kept thinking about how we could have taken a nap...we broke away from Dean and Andrea while they played slots and sat down at a sports bar thing that was open to the casino, and some of the shops and just sat and talked.  Mostly I talked about how uncomfortable I was.  I had never seen so much alcohol and gambling, and body parts in all my life....

We finally head up to the chapel, and we wait and wait and wait to be seated...so much for 4:45 or the doors are locked...by this time we had met up with a bunch of other people Kent works with...Zane, Jodi and Jim, and Sanchez...and we met some of Emily's (the bride) friends, Lori and Ryan...we take our seats in the chapel, and then we wait and wait and wait...an old guy sitting next to me says "this piano's gonna put me to sleep" and I had to agree, which made him laugh...and then the wedding started, and Emily looked beautiful.  And Cortland looked handsome.  They really are a super cute couple...and then low and behold, the officiator, starts talking and all I can think is someone found their way to Sesame Street and brought this guy back to do weddings.  He was the kind of person that smiled with over abundance even when he said the stuff about hardship and trials and forgiveness...it was...I don't even know...I just kept thinking, his cheeks must be killing him...and he squinted his eyes...like the whole time...

Next stop, the New York New York for dinner.  Oh. My. Gosh.  I had no idea a big building can look so close, and then take so much time to get too.  And there are so many people.  And so many people trying to give you crap and naked girl cards...like every two steps...and these people range from weirdos, to old grandma's pimpin out these cards...it's crazy!  We saw Chewbacca and a Transformer, Bumble Bee I believe...Elvis, Show Girls with huge feather headdresses...and it's up and down the escalators and across the sky-walks...and nice cars driving down the street, and big trucks with girls on them...and oh my gosh, it feels so far away...then we get there, and it's pretty cool inside.  We didn't really get to look around too much...and I was fine with that, because by now, I've walked a million miles in a skirt, spanks, and flip flops. And the only thing I can really think about is sitting down.

Dinner was at a cute little Italian Cafe inside the hotel.  There was a bread basket that I probably could have single-handedly finished, but when you are with a bunch of people you don't know that well, and they aren't really eating it, and you are already feeling like you look chubby in your skirt, you try your best to eat a minimal amount...which is really just another way of saying, I still ate a lot, I just ripped off tiny pieces and ate a normal portion instead of the over abundant one I would have eaten on a normal day.  The food wasn't too bad, but everywhere we went there was Pepsi.  I could see the disappointment on Kent's face every time he asked if they had coke...the conversation was fun, and I loved being there with Kent...the party finally wrapped up at about 9:30 I think and we all decided to head back to our hotels to change.  All the way back to the hotel sounded like the worst thing ever, so we decided we would start walking and then catch the bus.  Which apparently is called the Deuce in Vegas.  But we couldn't find any working meters.  So we walked.  And we walked.  And we walked.  And just when I thought the hotel was just around the corner, we walked some more.  And now I've seen more nakedness, and tons of cards, and beer sold from coolers on the streets for $3, and slurpee machines filled with alcoholic slurpees, and then we pass a place that advertises Naked Asians and Mexican Comfort Food all on the same reader board...if that's not ethnically diverse, I don't know what is...obvious combo right?...Finally!  We are outside our hotel, and we decide we are just gonna head to the Forum Shops across the street...because in Vegas, the mall connected to Caesars Palace, the biggest place on earth, is open until midnight....

this concludes the first installment of Vegas or Bust!

Pictures...

this is us all loaded up on our first flight...I literally rolled out of bed and put flops on...

I realized when we were flying, I'd never held hands with anyone on an airplane before...made me giddy..


My view out the window...

This was the first time I realized we were on a plane with the Oregon Ducks O on it...I thought Easton and Colton would think that was cool...

 Another window shot...flying over clouds is the craziest thing ever...it makes me wish we could go play on them...

 

When we got off the plane in Seattle I realized just how big of a fan this plane was... 

Our Toby Kieth lunch...so good...

My napkin that I meant to save, and realized later that I used it to throw out my gum...oops...

This was us in a Paris bar, waiting to go to a wedding...

This was in the chapel...Kent's phone was dying, so he picked the back row to sit in because it had an outlet..

The ceiling in the wedding chapel...nothing says wedding like naked angel babies...and a dove of course...

Waiting in the chapel...the lighting is horrible in all the inside pictures...and I think dropping my phone in the toilet twice might have compromised my camera quality...