Positively Undecided

I am mad crazy stressing out.  I still have so much to do tomorrow!  I am so worried I am going to forget something important, and I don't really have a schedule planned out on how it's all gonna go down tomorrow, and that stresses me out more...

In complete contrast to how I feel now, was how spirtually edified I felt this afternoon.  General Conference was amazing, perfect, uplifting, just what I needed.  After missing church the last few weeks with sick kids, and then spending the little bit of time I was there struggling with Addison, today was awesome.  The kids stayed pretty quiet, I listened and just absorbed it all...I laughed, I cried, I was inspired.  Inspired to do better.  To grow.  To remember why I am here and who I am.  While I was watching the morning session, Aubrey was at the counter with her play-doh, and when the Tabernacle Choir started to sing she said "Mom, this show is lame." Nice.  I totally believed in the whole idea of "even when kids don't seem to be paying attention, they are still absorbing what is going on around them", now I'm not so sure...or maybe she's just 5ish...

Tonight Colton and Maverick were watching Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.  Colton asked Mav, "do you wish you could make food fall from the sky?"  Maverick just said "No."  I was cracking up, because I could tell Colton was trying to have one of those kid moments where you just come up with crazy ideas, and roll around in the awesomeness of it all, if it could really come true...and Mav shot him down, without hesitation.  I don't even think Colton knew what to say for a second, he was so caught off guard by his answer...but he persisted and soon had Maverick convinced it would be totally cool if ice cream fell from the sky...

I can't focus, my mind keeps wandering back to all I have to do tomorrow.  Josh, I vacuumed tonight, and thought of you while I watched the lines in my carpet go crooked and not at all how you would do it.  It was more like abstract carpet art...I can imagine you trying to be so free spirited about it, and maybe even getting the cord partially wrapped, and then succumbing to the pressure...and plugging it back in, and feeling your heartbeat calm as lines turned uniform again...reminded me of how much you always erased everything when we were kids...

I so hope I get everything done...

Picture....

Back when I was obsessed with making subway art, like a few weeks ago, I made this subway art for Colton, pretty much sums him up...